But when it comes to difficult conversations, mimicry can

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One of my best employees committed an offense that could have been fireable. He made an offer to a client, and had no idea it was against our rules. When it came time for us to speak, he was justifiably shaken and fearful.

This was one of numerous difficult conversations I’ve faced as a senior leader at multiple companies. Another time, I had an employee who got drunk at a Christmas party and began hitting on colleagues. The next day, we had to address it.

And just a short time after starting at one business, I had the unfortunate task of laying off some poor fit employees – good people that I had only just met.

My ability to handle the sensitivities and emotions of these conversations has been helped along by an important conversational skill that millions of sales professionals like me have spent years honing: mimicry.

When you’re looking to make an exchange productive, it’s helpful slovenia telegram data to show the other person that you hear what they’re saying. This includes repeating their own words back to them. A study found that waiters who repeat their customer’s orders verbatim make about 70% more in tips.

Similar mimicry can pay off in difficult workplace conversations. Northeastern University reports that managers should listen actively when facing conflict with employees. “Ask questions to make sure you’re understanding what they’re saying, and repeat their message back to them to ensure you’re both on the same page.”

Mimicry can go beyond words, and into body language as well. Researchers have praised the “chameleon effect,” in which you imitate the movement and tone of the other person. Doing so can help bring a sense of safety and cohesion to a conversation.


When a frightened, concerned, or angry employee walks in the door for a tough meeting, it’s likely that their body language will be closed off. As the book Effective Difficult Conversations explains, “we can let our body unconsciously mirror” behaviors such as crossed arms, a scowl, and a lack of eye contact, “or we can assert some discipline and hold an open body position, direct eye contact, and a slight smile.” Those who do the latter are more likely to help lessen the anxiety and have a productive dialogue.